He is known as mzungu mwitu, owing to his impeccable Swahili, as we have been accustomed to, for a while. Justin Bradford’s love for the Kenyan culture has seen him endearing to him. He is a YouTuber, where he largely talks in Swahili in his videos. One particular video that he shot was the how to cook ugali. READ ALSO: Subtle signs you need to … Continue reading ‘Mzungu mwitu’ asks for ‘matako’ in US
The kitchen has never been my fortress, except of course when I am going to fetch food. Being brought up in a girls-only environment exempted me from doing any chores pertaining to the kitchen. But nature has a way of making you curse a privilege you so immensely enjoyed, thrusting you in a jungle where you are all alone. In your stray wanders, you find … Continue reading A man with exceptionally whacky culinary skills
It’s not an obsession back in my village, and my hometown at large although this is bound to change due to the proliferation of fast food outlets such as women frying chipped potatoes in copious amounts of fat, by the roadside. But then, by nature, our people exercise a lot by thinking about how the politics of 2022 will turn out, in case William is booted. Of course, they do this in the shopping center not less than five kilometers away from their homes, where they go to catch Swaleh Mdoe (by the way was he fortunate to get a buyer of his kidney?) and then trek back. 10 km to and fro.
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If you are keen enough, that’s one way on how to lose weight, without doing anything. It is politics, my friend. For the purposes of objectivity, I have to consider both sides of political divides. When baba calls for a rally in Uhuru Park, lean people who have demonstrated their ability to withstand tear gas as well as prowess in the science of stone throwing, if need be, troop into town to hear what The Enigma has to say. These people, for your information, walk ‘many’ distances to witness baba strolling in on top of a luxury Japanese SUV, a fuel guzzler that can feed them for a month in one refill, of course, if they depend on KDF for all nutritional needs. That’s how these men and women keep fit, lean, and shall be so for many years to come unless they attract stray bullets.
There are real men, and then there are just men. The ‘just men’ category is people, who by sheer stroke of luck, their liquid excretion organ did not grow inwards, but outwards. The only reason why they are considered men is that, logically, they can’t go to the ladies washrooms for the sole reason that women will scream like they have a seen a bomb that’s about to detonate. Also, as a warning, these men can reproduce, only with one fatal genetic flaw-they do not support any football team. In fact, not anything with a ball in it. As such these men have been condemned to die slow miserable deaths, caused by cholesterol or anything close to it. They would have avoided these fatal lifestyle diseases by supporting at least Arsenal, a team renowned for working people out every ninety minutes, once or more times a week, and during summer transfers which is every single second of it.
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Continue reading “How to lose weight without doing anything”
He subjected his money to the indignity of purchasing two plates of rice, each with different accompaniments. Mine was steak, and a soup served in a fancy cup that, I guess increased the price of the meal tenfold. We were in a fancy restaurant along Kimathi Street, and I couldn’t help but wonder how such a measly meal, a meal that did even involve ugali … Continue reading A Kalenjin and his love for ugali
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